Deep Within

I mean this in the nicest way of course, but:

I would love to yell and tell you all the awful things you've ever done that bother me and all the annoying things you've ever said and all the stupid comments that you've made, make you feel terrible for the times I've cried because of you, and make you realize that just because I was quiet doesn't mean it didn't hurt. (Meant to be read in one breath, in a slightly pissed off voice)


Now, there's a difference between being polite, quiet and shy. Then there's just being passive and not being able to stand up for yourself. 

Yes, there are strangers who might piss you off, there are those secondary people who may make the occasional comment (you generally don't care about this, because they're freakin' secondary anyway). 

Then there are the worst ones of all, the frenemie. 

You're really close with this person, and have moments where you feel like you could trust them with your life. But then there are times where you don't even know why you  put up with them. They make snarky comments, and the worst part is that they know exactly what your weak spot is, and they go for it.

Why do you even have this person in your life? Well, in all honesty anyone who makes you feel awful about yourself, and it goes past the point of a joke should not be in your life. You should surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, make you laugh and stick around when things get difficult. Those people are your real friends.

But sometimes, it's your own fault. You've stayed quiet for so long, they think it's okay and you don't care.

But it's time for you to defend yourself, fight back. Don't lose your friend, but never put your self-respect on the line. 

It's time to say what's deep within. 

The Butterfly and the Bee

Personality.

You may have this flawed thought that it doesn't matter.

But your character, your nature, the way you interact with  family,friends and strangers is what makes you-- you. 

Your personality is what either defines you as a good or bad person, regardless of the way you look.

To be gentle, yet intense.
To be passive, yet confident.
To be quiet, yet bold.

To be graceful, yet powerful.

Those who have ambition, drive and determination are the most attractive.
Those who achieve their goals after hard-work are the most admirable.

But you have to believe. You have to believe that you are capable of anything. That you can become anything. You have to believe that impossible is nothing. 

It's never going to be easy. But if you want something bad enough, you'll work for it. It will no longer be a want, but a need.

Take risks, be courageous. Because a great man once said, "He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." -M. Ali

Don't ever let someone tell you can't do something. 'Impossible' is not a declaration, it's a dare.
They may be able to take away your hope, but your knowledge is something that is with you forever.
You can never be over-educated, or 'too' successful.

"Float like a butterfly, 

                   Sting like a bee. 

His hands can't hit, 

                    what his eyes can't see." 

Crush

No, sadly I have not yet had the chance to steal the top-secret recipe for the delicious drink. But as soon as I do, I'll make sure to post it here first.

But the question remains: To tell him, or not to tell him ?

There are two very good answers to this question, they are dependent on the situation though.

1. Yes, go for it!

You've known him for awhile and you've actually had legitimate conversations. As in, it went past the whole "hi, hi, sup, nm, cool" stage which we all hate with a passion. And by "know him", yeah knowing his name and favourite colour are not a bad start.
But please make sure he was also part of these "legitimate conversations" and willingly told you his name and favourite colour. Playing out conversations in your mind and assuming his favourite colour is dark green because he wore that shirt last Tuesday is a sign that you're delusional.
Now, we've established that he must know you exist. After that, all you need to know is if he feels that same way.

Impossible you say? No, not at all. Makes you want to cry and run away to Mali? Yeah, sure.
Yes, you might be nervous. But remember, he's just as nervous.

What? Guys don't get nervous, that's ridiculous!

Yes girls, he's feeling the exact same way. But just may be better at hiding it from you.
If you both feel the same way about each other, there's really no good reason for you not to be together.

2. No, stop now. You're drunk. Go home. 

Really, it's that simple. Just stop and don't say anything.

But you love him you say? He opened the door for you that day when you were about to go through it? You were too busy staring into his eyes and walked into that stupid fire hydrant and he asked you if you were okay?

You don't love him, he probably doesn't even know your last name.
Yes, it's common courtesy to open the door for someone behind you.
He doesn't want to be a witness to your "death by hydrant", so please just watch where you're going.

There's a very good chance that you're just obsessed. I suggest you slow down, maybe it'll work out if you haven't already asked him out 17 times, know his sister's middle name and memorized his schedule.
I wish you the best of luck.

Him

Refreshing and pure,
cleansing and powerful
It's simply delightful,
with a certain allure

Angry and cold,
dark and dismal
It comes and goes, giving the impression of being artificial
But at the same time, is incredibly bold

It leaves you confused, yet still wanting more.
It becomes essential to your life, yet taints every aspect of it.

You attempt to ignore it, but are left empty without it's presence.
You give into temptation because you realize,

Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

The Equator and another Invisible Line

Continuing from my post about "Guy Friends":

Much like the equator, there is another invisible line. This line may not be crossed (only under certain circumstances). If crossed, things will become a hot mess.

He's your best friend, you basically tell him everything. Sometimes things you can't even tell your best friend, Aria. She would just be too judgmental and probably make the situation worse.

But there is a very fine line between what you do with your guy friend and what you do with your boyfriend.

And once you cross that line, there's really no going back.

Yes, it's true, many people say the person you're with should also be your best friend. But it's a terrible idea to take this literally. Yeah, you should be comfortable with your boyfriend and be able to confide in him.

But with a boyfriend there are certain expectations.
For one, you might want to actually look like a girl and not always be in "sweat pants, hair tied chillin' with no make-up on". Let's be honest, that's really not when you're the "prettiest".

With your guy friend? Well who cares what you look like, even if he says something. You'll completely ignore him, or remember what he said and use it against him later -- it's your choice.

But please don't expect to be treated like a girlfriend, if you're really not his girlfriend. No matter how amazing that imaginary relationship you have going on inside your head is. He doesn't know about it, and it should stay that way. Or you'll automatically be knocked down on the hotness scale, as it is directly proportional to the crazy scale.

Atelophobia

The fear of being imperfect.
The fear of not doing something right.
The fear of never being good enough.

A mental illness. Due to people striving to reach perfection. A "perfection" that simply does not exist.

You blame yourself when he doesn't like you back. You blame yourself that he likes your best friend more than you.

Ugly. Boring. Plain. Unwanted.

Why would you feel all this? Just because some guy doesn't know you exist?
No--wait. He's not just "some guy", he's the guy. And it's frustrating that you're not his girl.

Multiple attempts to get him to notice you.
You found out his favourite book? You immediately read it.
He loves sushi? Well, you've hated seafood since you were 5, but you'll try it again, just for him.

Reading those love quotes that seem to perfectly describe your feelings:

"I think of you in colours that don't exist."
"You don't understand, there's isn't one person in this world that I want more than I want you."

How could someone you're giving this much attention to, not like you back?
Well, he doesn't. And you have to accept that.
You can't change it, nor should you try to.

Don't change yourself for anyone (unless you're like crazy or have a unibrow, gotta deal with that bro).

A Girl's Best Friend--No, not Diamonds.

Guy Friends enrich our lives in ways our female "BFFs" just can't. 

But think about it: 
It's a drama-free relationship that's low on expectations and high on fun. What's not to love?

Let's look at this from their perspective:

Pro: Girls make the best wingman- 

He needs to know what to say to the girl he likes. Or even, how to let the poor girl he doesn't really like down nicely. (Please help him with the second one, or as a guy he'll be as blunt as possible and most likely crush that girl's heart.)

But that very fault has its bright side as well. The ability of a guy to get straight to the point is incredibly helpful for when a girl asks for help. 
A girl said something that pissed you off? His answer: "she a bitch" 
Makes you feel a whole lot better when someone else joins in on your dislike towards this individual, doesn't it? 

Pro: A free look into the female mind-

"Why the hell do you girls shop so much?" he asks.
 "No, wtf I am not going into Forever 21, that's so gay." he declares.
"You are basically a guy to me." he states.

And he receives a reply to each of of these three amazing sentences. Without the cost of having a girlfriend break up with him. Lucky guy.

And he's always available to return the favour. The guy you like did or said something that you will never understand, no matter how much you and your best friend Annabelle look into it. But your guy friend? He's got your answer in less than 10-words (because God forbid he ever send a long reply to the paragraph you just sent him). 

But overall, he's a pretty amazing person. I mean who else is gonna put up with you at 2 in the morning? 

The Late Crocodile

Men. 

Naturally, I would need to reply to this "EarlyOwl". Thinks he has women, girls, "Lassies" (as they're also referred to as) all figured out.

But does he really know?

Know how to get the girl? (Not that she is a prize that can be played for and won)

Know how to get that girl's attention?

Know how to put a smile on her face, or to make her laugh?

Well, maybe he does. Who am I to judge?

But more importantly, do girls know anything about how to get the guy? They seem like the most complicated, confusing, oblivious and frustrating beings. But actually, they are quite simple, un-dramatic and at times-- very understanding. Oh, and girls, they notice everything.

You bought a new red shirt cuz you know it;s your boyfriend's favourite colour on you. You go out for a movie, expecting him to comment: "you look beautiful", "oh, nice shirt". But what does he say instead?

Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.

Do not fear. He noticed your red shirt. He knows that you were looking amazing. He just chose not to say anything. But will most likely tell one of his guy friends that you were looking hot, or his best friend who is a girl (also known as his "adviser" and/or "analyzer"....I would advise you to be best friends with her. She doesn't want her guy friend hanging out with "Bugs" and "Tentacles", or whatever your hidden nickname may be. Trust me, you'll definitely have one. You have the power to decide whether it has a good or bad connotation).

Now, if you're still at the "trying to get him" stage, please never ever obsess over him. Guys hate "clingy" as much as they hate when you're talking about some irrelevant problem in your life (You'll usually get a "haha ok lol" at this point in the conversation). If you give him too much importance, they think you're a psycho-freak and will do everything in their power to avoid talking to you.
At the same time don't ignore them, they'll think you're that "ratchet-hoe who don't care".

But, that is enough to absorb for one day.
I wish you all luck, these "men" will one day be figured out ...until then, they'll be living by their "guy code".