Aloof

You're really confident, speak your mind (without being rude....sometimes) and participate in conversations, even if you don't know the person.

Then you suddenly feel like distancing yourself from everyone. You just want to shut out every single person.

You just want to focus on you. You've realized all the time you spent on others, doing favours for them cause you felt bad saying no, taking time away from your own work to explain something to that kid in the back who was confused and basically just doing a whole bunch of things without ever asking for anything in return, you just did them because you wanted to help.

But you know what happened when you needed help? That day you forgot your pencil, and needed to borrow one? When you actually asked for help and got told to wait cause they were "busy"?

No one had a pencil to lend. Time to waste on you. Nothing.

So, now you're left choosing between the good person you are, and the person you have to work hard to become.

I say forget them all. It's your turn. And it's about damn time. Now they'll realize what they had.

Too little too late.

You've got to admit it's pretty exciting. You finally can say 'no' and not feel bad. Tell them to wait, cause you're busy now. It's also a little scary, you'll feel like you have no one to talk to, as if you've let people down. But trust me, they'd do the same thing in your position, and they'd be much worse. There's nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself. It's not selfish, it's smart. There's a difference, and I'm really glad that we've finally been able to choose which one we'd like to be. 

Here's to a kick-butt year, and many many more to come. 

The Return

So, things were pretty weird, but that always happens when things change.

But now something different is going to happen.

New beginnings, new conversations, new people, new friends (because let's be honest, some of the other ones just didn't cut it) and best of all new 'first times'.

So you absolutely love the movie '500 Days of Summer' (which btw, if you haven't seen yet --you should), or the first conversation you had with your crush.

You've probably watched 500 Days of Summer more than 50 times, and talked to your crush a couple dozen times as well. But remember the very first time you got to do those things?

That rush of excitement you got from asking your crush questions and getting to know them, and not knowing what Joseph Gordon Levitt was going to do next in the movie?

You can never re-do that first time, but you can always have new first times.

That's why it's really nice when you meet a person you haven't seen in awhile, there's so much to talk about and learn. And when you meet completely new people, and possibly have the chance to re-invent yourself, you could be the shy, crazy, spontaneous or outgoing version of yourself. It's all up to you!

It's a fresh new start, and I'm pretty excited about it (and also a little nervous). But what's a new experience without a little taste of the unknown? 

Take Care

You never really thought of what it would be like without the person. Mostly because you didn't feel the need to think about them ever leaving, it was assumed they'd pretty much always be there.

But then you did have to think about it.

Sure, you were given notice a few months before. That would obviously be enough to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for it.

You were wrong. 

There's no amount of time that could've prepared you. There are no words that could have been said to make it all better. There is no limit to the amount of hours you talk to the person that will make it any easier.

It's kind of like losing a piece of your life. A part that was pretty darn awesome.

And without that part of your life, you feel incredibly alone.

You wish them the best in everything they do, everything they will encounter in the future, a future without you.

Maybe it's a good thing, it's a test of your friendship. It'll just become stronger.

Having no idea how to say those last good-byes, good nights or see you soon's you just cry. That pretty much sums up everything you're feeling.

And then the very last thing that's said, 'take care!' . And you break down again.

You'll make it through it, don't worry.
It's just another adventure in the story. And the characters in this story will inevitably have to meet again.

Boxes

There was a place for everything, and everything was in its place.

When you needed something from the kitchen, you knew exactly where it was (or you trashed the place looking for that favourite mug you use for your tea...you know, that clear glass one).

When you wanted to get away from the awful homework, you could go into your family room, relax on your lovely black leather sofas and play Wii.

When you needed to escape from those family-friends who had weird kids, you could escape to the safety of your room and read those books you love so much ( Harry Potter and such).

But then the news came. It didn't exactly take you by surprise, because you had become so used to it. But it still hurt a little.

All those times looking for that mug, playing Wii with friends (and losing .... sometimes ;) and hiding from
un-welcome guests are just memories, of a now empty house.

Instead of your mug's home, its become the hallow domain of the dish-washer.

Instead of your living room, it's a 'lovely area to spend time with friends and family' (as the awful person who made money off it said....I'm telling you, they could've easily been 'taken care' of).

The Harry Potter books, photos, yearbooks, Wii console, tv and couches have all disappeared.

It's no longer my home, it's simply another house on the street.

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You have no idea how much you'll be missed. From people you've only met once to people you talk to everyday, even those psychotic people you didn't like so much will feel empty for awhile (I mean who else will the leeches attack?)

P.S. -- I hate Alaska, just saying.

The Right-Hand Corner

The small things. The big things. Important things. Insignificant details.

They all matter.
Some more than others....but without each of  them the picture would be incomplete.

Some people prefer to look at the bigger picture, others prefer to notice the small right-hand corner of the picture (you know what I mean).

Then there are those who like a little of both. They like to focus on that little right hand corner, so that when they finally decide to step back and see the entire thing, each and every inch is exactly how they want it to be.

Those little details are pretty important in every aspect of life:

That first look you get from your crush
Your first kiss
When your friend genuinely remembers your birthday (without having to check facebook)
When that same friend stays up until midnight to wish you happy birthday
When a stranger compliments the blouse you're wearing, they have nothing to gain from you, but are just nice
When your boyfriend leaves a rose in your locker for your 'monthaversary' or just 'cause

They may seem like the smallest thing at the time, but they're exactly what you're going to remember in a few years. Even the bad things that happen to you will seem unimportant. For every bad hair day, break-up or lost championship game you have over 100 amazing things to appreciate.

Pay attention to what happens around you and what people say to you.
You never know when you might miss something important, and once you do, you may not get that opportunity again.

Leeches

They bite and they suck your blood. 
Okay, she doesn't suck blood. But she might as well, cause she's sucking the life out of me. 

Back-stabbing, two-faced, emotionally draining and just plain annoying. 
Why do they even exist? They serve no greater purpose in life and are just pests. 

Also, leeches are hermaphrodites. Which is both a fun fact and explains the constant confusion between the choice of partner. 

As if biting and taking your blood wasn't enough, some also actually eat other invertebrates that are smaller than them, swallowing them whole. They think they're bigger and better than others, that they can do whatever the hell they like and no one can stop them. They attack those who they believe to be less powerful. But once you decide that you've had enough, treat that leech the same way they treat you and just watch and see how fast they drop dead.  

They're also content feed off decomposing bodies. So, even when you think there's nothing left and it couldn't possibly get any worse-- the leech proves you wrong. 

Now, the leech may not be the villain in this story. The amount of blood they take, which usually isn't a lot, is harmless. But imagine the same leech constantly coming back for more. Little by little, feeding off you. Taking a small piece of you every time. The amount they take from you cannot be observed from the outward appearance, but it does take a toll deep within.


The leech thinks it knows everything and everyone. It believes it can never be wrong. But what it doesn't know is that it's not even close to knowing the person or the truth. You try to be straight forward with the leech? Tell it to leave you alone? But, why would the leech listen? I mean, it apparently knows you better than you know yourself. It thinks you want --no-- need it. But the truth is, your life would be so much better without this leech. Without its constant pestering, questioning and feeding off you.

No one needs a leech in their life. So, you all know how to get a leech off you.

Burn that sucker. Make it squirm. 

What ifs and Whys

There are those who wonder, question and try to find answers.

Then there are those who could care less and don't even acknowledge a problem.

You would think the second type of people have a much easier, stress-free life and must be happier. And yes-- you may be right. They may have never even thought that there was something they didn't know or should know.

But, the second type of people are also the ones left with the 'what ifs' and 'whys' that will bother them later on.

When a girl gets dumped or rejected by a guy, she thinks there's something wrong with her. She think she's not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough and will try to find a flaw in everything she does and how she looks. She feels that she must have done something wrong to make the guy not want to be with her.

When a guy gets rejected he thinks there's something wrong with the girl who  rejected him. He assumes she's the "bitch" who just wants to date "an asshole" or "bad boy". Never for one second does he think that he may have done something wrong, or said something to hurt her. He doesn't reflect on himself and automatically goes and assumes it was her fault.

So boys, before you go and pull something stupid like that, think about what you did.

Sure, maybe she wasn't the right girl and you were perfectly nice to her. In that case, you deserve to know why she broke up with you. She owes you an explanation.
You really liked this girl, and felt like everything was perfect and then BAM. I understand that you may need some time, and that's fine. But a time will come when you're comfortable enough to ask her, and you should do exactly that.

If you did do something, you should apologize; because that girl will keep thinking about it everyday, all the time, trying to figure out why she wasn't good enough for you.